Understanding: The Foundation of Every Relationship

Understanding is a refined and noble language. It’s not a language of flowery words but of the heart. When we add a bit of understanding for others, we add warmth and soothe countless sorrows. Vietnamese people have long considered empathy and sharing to be an eternal spirit:

• “Love others as you love yourself.”
• “A morsel when hungry is worth more than a bundle when full.”
• “When eating a fruit, remember the person who planted the tree.”

These sayings not only honor compassion but also remind us to put ourselves in others’ shoes to understand and share. This is the root of all connection.

Understanding in Family: More Than Just Blood Ties

Family ties are bound by blood, but without understanding, that bond can become stifling. Parents who pour their all into caring for their children feel hurt by thoughtless words, and devoted children who aren’t understood by their parents can feel saddened. Therefore, love within a family is not just a biological role but also an act of listening, tolerance, and empathy.

Vietnamese folk songs and proverbs teach us:

• “Siblings are like hands and feet; if one is torn, the other should cover it.”
• “When one sister falls, the other lifts her up.”
• “A moment of patience saves a hundred moments of pain.” (Literally: “One concession, nine blessings.”)

These sayings remind us that within a family, knowing how to yield, admit fault, and understand each other is what keeps a home peaceful.

Understanding in Friendship: A Kinship that Endures Hardship

True friendship is built on trust and sharing. When a friend hurts you, if both sides acknowledge their mistakes and try to understand the reasons, the crack can heal into a stronger bond. A companion who stands by you through difficulties is someone to cherish and truly understand.

Proverbs and teachings about friendship:

• “Prosperity comes from friends, nobility from a wife.”
• “Learning from a teacher is not as good as learning from a friend.”
• “A true friend is hard to find; a true friend is hard to forget.”
• “Choose your friends to play with, choose a place to live.”

These sayings advise us to cherish good friends and to be compassionate and help one another in times of trouble.

Understanding in Love and Marriage: Overcoming Storms Together

Love is not without its sorrows, jealousy, and misunderstandings. What keeps love lasting isn’t just passion, but the ability to understand, be yielding, and overcome challenges together. When two hearts know how to put themselves in the other’s place, arguments are just a passing shower before the sun shines again.

Folk sayings teach:

• “If husband and wife are of one mind, they can empty the East Sea.”
• “When the husband gets angry, the wife says less; even if the rice boils over with a small flame, it will not be spoiled.” (A play on words; a more common interpretation is “A wife’s soft words can cool a husband’s temper.”)
• “Words cost nothing to buy, so choose them to please others.”

These words remind us that skillful speech and a tolerant heart are the remedies for all disagreements.

The Language of Understanding: Small Actions, Big Impact

Understanding isn’t limited to words; it exists in actions: listening without judgment, slowing down to understand clearly, being patient to maintain harmony, and helping when others need it. The ancients also advised:

• “Bend your tongue seven times before speaking.”
• “Share the sweet and the bitter.” (Literally: “Share the same bitter and sweet.”)
• “Do good and good things will come to you.” (Literally: “Live kindly and you’ll meet good things.”)

These simple guidelines are a compass for a life of understanding and kindness.

A Daily Practice

Understanding has the power to resolve conflicts, heal wounds, and strengthen humanity. “The more you understand, the less you resent; the more you understand, the less you are hurt.” This is the essence of many ancient teachings: one moment of patience brings nine blessings; one loving heart brings a thousand paths to peace. Let’s make understanding a habit, through awareness and small daily actions, and we will find life less harsh and much warmer.

To conclude, here are some ancient sayings to remember:

• “Love others as you love yourself.”
• “A morsel when hungry is worth more than a bundle when full.”
• “Siblings are like hands and feet; if one is torn, the other should cover it.”
• “When one sister falls, the other lifts her up.”
• “If husband and wife are of one mind, they can empty the East Sea.”
• “Words cost nothing to buy, so choose them to please others.”
• “Bend your tongue seven times before speaking.”
• “Share the sweet and the bitter.”
• “When eating a fruit, remember the person who planted the tree.”
• “One concession, nine blessings.”
• “A true friend is hard to find; a true friend is hard to forget.”
• “Do good and good things will come to you.”