Happiness Needs Reminding: The Art of Living Amidst Calamity A Culture of Vigilance Deeply Ingrained in the Subconscious

From childhood, we have grown up in an environment dense with reminders, and almost 100% of these reminders are associated with risk and disaster.

The moment the weather turns slightly cold, Mother reminds us: “Remember to put on more clothes, lest you catch a cold.” As soon as we make a new friend, Father warns: “Be careful, son, lest you be deceived.” When we achieve a small success, before we even have time to celebrate, all our loved ones chime in unanimously: “Don’t be arrogant! Storms still lie ahead.”

Even in the most joyful moments, a secret voice in our mind whispers: “Don’t be too happy, suffering could strike immediately…”

In Vietnamese culture, prudence is considered a core virtue. The ancients taught: “Cẩn tắc vô ưu” (Caution leads to no worries). Or the proverb often reminds us: “Prevention is better than cure.” These teachings deeply permeate the subconscious, creating an intense “culture of vigilance.” We are so familiar with being reminded that we consider it a survival instinct, but the suffix of every such reminder always seems to be a potential disaster, which makes the reminder itself tinged with anxiety.

We have grown accustomed to living under the shadow of visible and invisible fears, which hover above us like constantly lurking ravens. The question is: If we are so good at recognizing and preparing for suffering, why are we so poor at recognizing and enjoying happiness?

I. The Ingratitude of Reminders Lacking Happiness

The sages and predecessors have left us tens of thousands of pieces of advice, but most of them focus on avoiding suffering: Reminders to avoid falling, reminders to guard against deception, reminders to maintain a calm mind amidst honor and disgrace…

However, it seems no one reminds us about happiness. Do they think happiness is something that doesn’t need to be advised, something good that will naturally be cherished? Or do they too much revere blood and fire, disdaining the comfort of a peaceful life? They always stand on a precarious cliff, showing us the way to escape future calamities.

But, what is the time in between those sufferings? That is precisely Happiness!

We dedicate our entire minds to guarding against misfortune, yet we are too indifferent to reminding ourselves of happiness. This is a major shortcoming in the philosophy of life.

II. Wasting Moments of Peace

Imagine a full moon night shining brightly, the cool, silver-like moonlight filling the space. A reminder suddenly appears and says: “Watch out, a big storm is coming!”

Immediately, we ignore the beautiful full moon, rushing to prepare everything to cope with the storm. In a state of anxiety and apprehension, with eyes wide open on guard, the storm hesitates like lost sheep, wandering nowhere. When we can no longer bear the torment of waiting for disaster, we even wish for the storm to come quickly just to get it over with.

On many nights, the storm never came. We have let the silver moonlight down.

When the storm finally arrives, we are shocked to realize that most of the prior preparation was useless. Risks that can be prepared for are finite, while unexpected disasters in life are infinite. Triumphing over calamity often relies on immediate improvisation and an iron spirit, not on continuous prior worry.

When the tail of the storm has passed far away, we clean up the ravaged house. Before our breath can even settle, new reminders ring out wisely, and we begin a new cycle of worry, awaiting the next disaster.

Life always has calamities. But the striking thing is, most people have cultivated composure in the face of disaster. What we have not learned is joy and exultation in the space between calamities.

III. Happiness Needs to Be Learned

Enjoying happiness is a skill that needs to be learned, and the moment happiness is approaching needs a reminder. People can naturally learn to enjoy sensory pleasure, but cannot naturally grasp the rhythm of spiritual happiness. The joy of the soul and the comfort of the body are like a pair of twins, sometimes supporting each other, but sometimes completely opposite.

Happiness is a vibration of the soul. It’s like a pair of ears that know how to listen to music, requiring constant training. In the simplest terms, happiness is the moment when there is no suffering. Its frequency of appearance is not as rare as we often think.

But why do we miss it?

People often only realize that the golden chariot of happiness has rolled far away, then stoop to pick up the remaining golden mane on the ground and exclaim: “Ah, it turns out I once encountered it.”

We like to reminisce about past “specimens” of happiness, but neglect the moment of happiness that is shrouded in morning dew, exuding a fragrant aroma. At that time, we often walk hurriedly, worrying about this and that, not knowing what we are busy with.

This is what the Vietnamese ancients also cautioned against through stories about greed and dissatisfaction. The proverb says: “Đứng núi này trông núi nọ” (Standing on this mountain, looking at the other mountain), criticizing the habit of not appreciating what one has, but always aiming for distant things, only to ultimately miss the happiness right beside them.

IV. Identifying the Subtle Signs of Happiness

The world has forecasts for storms, diseases, and earthquakes, but no one forecasts happiness. In fact, happiness, like all things, has its own signs.

Happiness is often an elusive thing, dripping dew in measured amounts. You should never expect a grand, earth-shattering happiness. Happiness is mostly just gentle breezes blowing against your face.

You also shouldn’t try to turn the faucet higher so that happiness flows away too quickly. Instead, you need to be still, using a peaceful soul to feel the truth of happiness.

Happiness is mostly simple. It doesn’t shine like a red flare in the high sky. It wears the coat of its primitive, close, and warm color, enveloping us.

Happiness does not favor pretense; it often descends in simple, even dark circumstances:

A piece of cake shared in poverty, when both husband and wife are “Tát cạn bể Đông” (united in overcoming difficulties).

A look of deep understanding during adversity.

A rough head pat from a hardworking father.

A warm note from a relative.

These are all priceless forms of happiness. They are like rubies studded on old silk, becoming even more brilliant and prominent amidst the desolation. The proverb says: “Một miếng khi đói bằng một gói khi no” (A piece when hungry is worth a package when full), the joy and preciousness of a small thing given at the right moment, in difficult circumstances, far outweigh the material value of big things obtained when affluent.

V. Learning to Exploit the Trapezoidal Cross-Section of Happiness

Happiness sometimes likes to tease us by arriving in disguise. Opportunity, friendship, success, reunion… all resemble happiness greatly, but they are not synonymous with happiness.

Happiness will borrow their clothes to appear gently. Only when we get closer and lift the covering veil do we realize that inside is a tough steel core (steadfast spirit).

Happiness is sometimes very fleeting, unlike suffering which often covers the entire sky. If we place suffering and happiness on the two ends of life’s scale, suffering might have a colossal mass, while happiness might only be a tiny mineral fragment. But the scale must definitely tilt towards happiness, because it contains the pure gold of life.

Happiness has a trapezoidal cross-section: it can be expanded or narrowed, depending on whether you know how to cherish it.

We need to heighten our vigilance towards happiness. When it arrives, enjoy every minute to the fullest with all passion. Scientists have studied that the result of intentional (conscious) attention is much better than unintentional (natural) attention.

When spring comes, we need to tell ourselves: “This is spring!” At that moment, our hearts will burst into a vibrant young green.

When happiness comes, we need to tell ourselves: “Remember this moment!” Happiness will stay with us longer. Wouldn’t we then possess more happiness?

VI. Savoring the Present, Dispelling Future Worries

During a bountiful harvest season, don’t first think about the years of possible crop failure. We have a whole long winter to worry about that.

Let’s dance and sing with friends, spreading joy. Once the seeds have responded to the sweat, we have the right to immerse ourselves in happiness. Don’t worry about the later wind and frost, just grind the wheat into flour, and bake a fragrant loaf of bread.

Just as the Vietnamese ancients often advised about optimism and the strength of spirit after failure: “Thua keo này bày keo khác” (Lose this round, start another). Suffering was a lost round, but we overcame it. Happiness is the present winning round, and we have the right to enjoy it before preparing for the next battle.

When we gather together from all directions, please do not hesitate because of the impending moment of separation. In the long years ahead, there will be countless lonely nights to taste sorrow alone.

Every present moment, let it burn like pure alcohol, forming the light blue flame of happiness, leaving no residue. Let’s raise our glasses and say: “We are happy.”

VII. Happiness Resides in Every Close Moment

When we gather around our elderly parents, even though their hair is gray and they have grown weaker, you still must have the courage to tell yourself: “I am very happy.”

Because of the impermanence of heaven and earth, there will come a day when you lose them forever, and you will infinitely regret this time.

We need to remember the profound teaching about the debt of gratitude to our parents, which has been passed down through generations:

“Công cha như núi Thái Sơn, Nghĩa mẹ như nước trong nguồn chảy ra.” (The father’s merit is like Mount Tai Son, The mother’s kindness is like water flowing from the source.)

Their presence, even in old age, is a solid Mount Tai Son that we need to cherish. The happiness of still being able to be filial is the greatest gift.

Happiness is not synchronized with possessions, status, fame, or marriage; it is merely the perception of your own soul.

Therefore, when we have nothing at all, we can still say: “I am happy.” Because we still have a healthy body.

When we can no longer enjoy good health, the bravest people can still smile and say: “I am very happy.” Because I still have a healthy heart.

Even when the heart no longer exists, the most outstanding individuals of humanity can still utter a voice resounding throughout the universe: “I am very happy.” Because I once lived.

Remind yourself of happiness frequently, just as in the cold days we often look up at the sun; our hearts will, without knowing when, become warm and illuminated.

That is the choice: Choose happiness, learn to enjoy it, and bravely face suffering when it comes.