LET JOY BECOME A HABIT

In the journey of life, we sometimes feel that life is like a sudden downpour rushing in during a sunny noon. The rain can be abrupt, torrential, soaking our clothes, and washing away our mood. But then, as the clouds dissipate, the sun shines again on the green leaves, revealing raindrops that glisten more than a gem. This is the essence of life: there are moments submerged in affliction, but the light is always silently waiting. The Vietnamese people have an old saying: “After the rain, the sky clears,” which is not a meaningless consolation, but a reminder that all phenomena are impermanent, suffering and happiness cycle, and everything will change.

Concealed behind the hustle and bustle of life are countless pressures: unspoken conflicts at work, intractable emotional knots in relationships, or simply a single malicious look that is enough to deeply wound an already weary heart. Yet, the Buddha taught: “Suffering is to be acknowledged, not to be avoided.” The truth is we cannot control the wind, but we can absolutely learn to control the sails of our mind.

I. Affliction is not the end, but a new starting point

Everyone encounters disappointments in life. It could be a mistake at work that renders all efforts useless. It could be a misunderstanding in a relationship, leaving us uncertain about right and wrong. Or it could just be a careless remark, a small action, that makes the heart ache for days. However, the most important thing is that these feelings do not stay forever.

Psychology points out that emotions operate in cycles, just like the ebb and flow of the tide. Every day has moments of calmness, and moments that burst with light. What determines each person’s experience is not the objective changes, but their attitude when they encounter them.

The ancients said profoundly: “When the mind is at peace, the world is at peace.” When the inner self is tranquil, even if the storm outside roars, it no longer has the power to unsettle us. Buddhism calls this mindfulness – the awareness of all mental phenomena, recognizing without attachment. The Buddha once taught: “We are hurt by the first arrow, but the greatest suffering is caused by the second arrow – the mind’s excessive reaction.” The frivolous sink into the second arrow; the enlightened do not let it touch them.

II. Do not let negative emotions imprison the mind

Many people, when facing problems, immediately indulge in complaining, worry, and sadness. They lock themselves in the dark room of inferiority, thinking that the whole world is turning its back. But in reality, the one turning its back on them is themselves, when they refuse to open the door of their heart.

In the “Confucius Family Sayings,” there is a quote: “The wise are not perplexed, the benevolent are not anxious, and the courageous are not afraid.” This is not a denial of feelings, but a reminder to master them. The mind is like a companion: if untrained, it will run wild; if tempered, it becomes an unparalleled force.

Buddhism views negative emotions not as enemies, but as signals. When anger arises, it is a warning: “Something needs to be reviewed.” When anxiety surfaces, it is a reminder: “Don’t go too fast.” Every suffering is our teacher. If we are willing to learn, it leads to growth and liberation. If we only resist, it will return stronger.

Just as the Vietnamese proverb often says: “Bitter medicine cures the ailment, the truth is hard to swallow.” Indeed, difficulties are often not gentle, but the lessons they carry are worth more than pure gold.

III. Joy is a habit, not a random gift of fate

People often mistakenly believe that happiness or sadness is a matter of circumstances. They wait for a casual stroke of luck, an unintentional success, or a perfect relationship. But if we only wait, we turn ourselves into slaves of fate. This goes against the Buddhist philosophy: “The mind is the forerunner of all mental states.” A joyful mind brings forth blossoms; a sad mind brings down the rain.

Neuroscientists prove that the brain adapts to repeated emotional patterns. If you frequently nurture joy, your brain will increase its favorable response to happiness. If you are accustomed to worry, the nervous system will restructure in a negative direction. In other words: joy is a habit – and so is sadness.

The ancients said: “When a person is sad, how can the scenery be cheerful,” not to complain about the scenery, but to remind us that whether the scenery is happy or sad, it all stems from the mind. When we look at life with gentle eyes, we find everything to be worthy of compassion and affection.

IV. The Art of Self-Regulation of Emotions according to the Buddhist Spirit

In Zen Buddhism, there is the concept of transformation. This is not the suppression of emotion, but embracing it with the light of understanding. The Buddha taught: “By being aware of suffering, suffering will transform itself.”

When the mind is restless, many people choose oblivion through excessive indulgence or addictive substances. But as the proverb says: “You cannot run away from the sun.” Running away from the problem only makes it bigger.

Mindfulness helps us:

• Identify the emotion, not deny it.
• Observe it like a cloud in the sky of the mind.
• Let it pass, without holding onto it.

Just like “Water cuts rock,” gentle but continuous practice will wear away all bad habits of the mind.

V. Why do we often get caught up in sadness for too long?

The cause is not the strength of the sadness, but the mind’s attachment.

The Sutras say: “It is attachment itself that gives rise to all suffering.” When sad, we think we are the sadness; when angry, we think we are the anger. That is the fundamental mistake.

The wise know that:

• Sadness comes and goes.
• Anger comes and goes.
• Worry comes and goes.
• They are merely mental phenomena, not us.

Buddhism calls this non-self ($\text{anattā}$).

VI. Gratitude – The Key to Unlocking Happiness

Many cultures, including Vietnam, highly value gratitude. Our ancestors often advised: “When eating fruit, remember the one who planted the tree.” In Buddhism, gratitude is the root of all peace. When we focus on the good things, the mind will gradually open, and positive emotions will be nurtured accordingly.

Sometimes, happiness is not found in grand things, but precisely in:

• A hot cup of tea in the morning,
• A child’s smile,
• A greeting from an acquaintance,
• The cool breeze after work.

This kind of happiness, the Japanese call small but certain happiness ($\text{小確幸}$ – shōkakkō), while the Vietnamese express it through the saying: “Small but precious.”

VII. You don’t always have to be happy immediately

A common mistake in the digital age is the rush to process emotions. We are pressured to smile, be enthusiastic, and full of energy… even when the heart is aching.

But the Buddha taught: “No mud, no lotus.” The lotus is not beautiful naturally; it is beautiful because it emerges from the mud. Unpleasant feelings are sometimes a necessary stage of growth. Allow sadness to be sad – but do not take up residence there. Say to yourself: “I acknowledge you, but I am not you.”

VIII. Don’t force yourself to be happy – that is not true happiness

In life, everyone has tried to force a smile when their heart was broken. But that smile does not release the pain; it only pushes it down. Just like the proverb: “Even a worm will turn if you tread on it too much.” Suppression is the shortest path to mental exhaustion.

Happiness must come naturally, from the heart, without coercion. Allowing yourself to stop, breathe, look deeply, and then smile gently – that is the smile of a person who is at ease.

IX. Slow Living – The Cure for the Modern Age

The more modern society becomes, the more people are swept away by speed. They rush from one goal to the next, viewing life as a race track. But life is not a competition of who accomplishes the most, but who feels the deepest.

The old Vietnamese often said: “Slow but sure.” Slow to allow the mind time to feel. Sure not to drop happiness along the way. In mindful breathing, every step becomes a homecoming.

X. Living Joyfully – Like Brushing Your Teeth Every Day

Happiness is not made of spectacular bursts of brilliance, but of habits. Just like we brush our teeth every morning, not for instantly white teeth, but for long-term preservation.

If every day:

• We gently remind our mind of a beautiful phrase,
• We remember the things that make us smile,
• We dedicate time for our body to move,then we are training the muscles of happiness. And one day, we realize: sadness no longer finds the door easily.

XI. Mindful Movement – A Natural Therapy

No need for a fancy gym. Just 10 minutes of walking under the trees, gazing at the sky, listening to the birds, and the mind is purified. The Buddha taught: “Body contemplation” – walking knowing you are walking, breathing knowing you are breathing. That is meditation in daily life.

XII. Choose Joy – Because Life is Impermanent

Human life only lasts a few decades. Rough patches, storms, and ups and downs are normal. But joy… joy is a gift we give ourselves. The Vietnamese have a saying: “A laugh is worth ten doses of medicine.” And indeed, science proves that a smile releases happy hormones.

Remember: life does not wait for us to be happy before it becomes beautiful; life is beautiful because we choose joy.

XIII. Ask your heart: When was the last time you were truly happy?

Buddhism encourages contemplation, which is looking deeply into the mind. Think about the last time:

• You smiled because of something very small,
• Because of someone’s kindness,
• Or just because the sky was clear in the afternoon.

Happiness is sometimes standing right at the door, just waiting for us to unlock it.

XIV. Conclusion

Let joy become a habit. Don’t wait for the sun to come out before you step outside; step out, and the sun will follow. When we know how to cherish every moment, the ordinary becomes extraordinary. When we realize that sadness is merely a transient guest, and a peaceful mind is the host, life will change its color.

The ancients said:

“When the mind is at peace, all things are at peace.”

The Buddha taught:

“Be a lamp unto yourselves.” (Literally: “Light up the torch and walk.”)

And I, just want to gently remind you:

Smile at life, so life will smile back at you.