Understand fear to overcome fear

To overcome fear, we must first understand its nature. Fear is often not just a knee-jerk reaction, but the result of experiences, thoughts, and beliefs that have accumulated over time. Here is a step-by-step approach to understanding and overcoming fear:

Identify what the specific fear is

“You need to understand what fear you are facing and name it so it loses its power.”

• Ask yourself: What am I afraid of? (Failure? Rejection? Loss of control? Judgment?). You need to ask yourself what your fear is and where it comes from. You need to understand the source of the fear. If it is failure, you need to ask where this failure comes from? If rejection, you need to think carefully about why you were rejected? Loss of control, you need to understand why you lost control, are you exceeding your ability? If you are judged, you need to calm down and ask yourself if those judgments are correct. The questions you ask yourself need to be calm and remove all your ego.
• Write it down on paper. The more specific the better, for example: “I am afraid of public speaking because I think people will laugh if I say something wrong.”

Find the root cause

• Fear often comes from:
  • Negative experiences in the past. The results in the past can affect your spirit. Like unpleasant experiences, negative experiences are problems that create current fears. You need to know that things in the past can be completely different, because you in the past and you in the present have many different points.
  • Lack of information, when your information is not enough. Your decisions are very difficult to be oriented according to your needs. So you can fall into panic when the information is not specific. You need to make decisions and believe in the things that the current information you have.
  • Excessive imagination about the future. Imagining the future always has two sides, it is like honey if you imagine good things. But it can also be a dark night. Therefore, it is necessary to limit excessive imagination about the future.
  • Limiting beliefs. You are in a situation where your faith has been completely lost. But remember that life is like a wave, it is never smooth. Sometimes it goes up, sometimes it goes down, if your current situation is extremely dark, this could be the turning point of your life.

For example: If you were laughed at when giving a presentation when you were young, your brain may associate public speaking with “danger”, and you will think about stuttering in the future before the whole presentation takes place, thereby creating fear. Think back to what you are presenting? Ask yourself why you are presenting? What will the audience gain from your presentation? How well have you prepared for the presentation? Is this presentation similar to the presentation you gave when you were young?. Quietly ask the question and make sure the information you answer is honest, then you can eliminate the fear, eliminate the “danger” that your brain creates.

Observe instead of reacting

• When fear arises, don’t fight it. Instead, observe:
  • How does your body react? (heart palpitations, shaking hands, etc.). The body always reacts to any fear, even if it is just a false fear. Don’t try to stop it. Just let your body go through it. Don’t try to do anything important at this time. Let your body go through these stages, you need to learn how to let your body go through this as quickly as possible naturally. See how to regulate your body when fear arises here.
  • What is your mind thinking? If you are drowning in fear, the first thing you need to ask yourself is: Are the thoughts real? Is it really happening? Are you overthinking? If you are overthinking, remove everything you are thinking from your mind. Breathe and take a break, remove all the overthinking created by your mind.

You are not the fear. You are the observer of it.

Challenge old beliefs

• Ask again: “Is what I fear really true?”. Look at the information you have, remove your ego, remove the unreal thoughts. Look at the truth that is happening and ask that question. If it is real, think back to steps 1 and 2. If it is real, admit the fear and face it. If not, remove the negative thoughts that create fear like Step 3.
• “What is the worst and the best that can happen? Can I face it?”. From the information you have, think about the worst and the best. Don’t act hastily, think about the information you have, the past experiences. Make decisions based on the information you have in hand.
• “Have I overcome something similar before?” Although the bad past is always present before the news. But in silence, ask yourself if you have overcome something similar. In the process of growing up and working, I am sure that you have overcome the impossible by chance. Think about it and be confident that you will overcome the present as you have overcome those times.

Gradual approach (active exposure)

• Start with small steps to get used to what you are afraid of. From the first step to the fourth step, you are gradually confronting and testing to overcome your fear. Continue to repeat the previous steps if you still have fear with the smallest thing, to the bigger and more realistic thing that is happening. Fear is like doing something wrong, you need to do the steps again to understand where you went wrong and start doing it again to make it right. When you understand the key point, the fear will gradually fade away.
• For example: If you are afraid of speaking in front of a crowd. First start by talking in front of a mirror, then in front of a close friend, then a group of close friends, then speaking in front of a small group of strangers…

Change your perspective on fear

• Instead of seeing it as the enemy, see it as a message, as a part of you.

“Fear is just trying to protect you from pain. But you grow not by running away, but by having the courage to move forward. See fear as a part of you, need to understand that it is not something to be afraid of but a natural reaction of the body”

Practice mindfulness and relaxation

• Meditation, deep breathing, yoga… help reduce stress and increase self-awareness. There are many ways to reduce stress, read the article on reducing stress and fear.

Seek support

• Talk to family, friends, or a mental health professional. Sharing helps us to reflect and gain more strength.
• Seek information, find someone to provide information. Finding someone you trust to talk to is also a part of giving you more information, helping you to be more confident when making your decisions.