Don’t Go to Three Places When You Have Money, Don’t Get Close to Two People When You Don’t. You Should Listen to the Words of the Ancients.

Since ancient times, the Vietnamese people have had profound beliefs about ethics, lifestyle, and interpersonal conduct. The advice in this article aligns perfectly with the wisdom of Vietnamese ancestors, demonstrating timeless insight and foresight.

On Maintaining Integrity When Wealthy:

In Vietnam: The Vietnamese have a saying, “Cờ bạc là bác thằng bần” (Gambling is the master of poverty), which highlights the destructive effects of gambling; once you get involved, it’s hard to escape destitution. Regarding places of debauchery, “Gần mực thì đen, gần đèn thì rạng” (Near ink, you get dark; near light, you get bright) is advice to stay away from places where it’s easy to fall. As for not “entering a widow’s house,” the Vietnamese have the saying “Giàu thì đổi bạn, sang thì đổi vợ” (Rich people change friends, noble people change wives) to describe the downfall of those who become corrupt when they have money. However, they also say “Đức năng thắng số” (Virtue can overcome destiny), implying that good character helps people overcome all temptations.

Internationally: The philosopher Seneca once said, “It is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more, that is poor.” This reminds us that greed is what truly destroys a person, not money itself.

On Upholding Dignity When Poor:

In Vietnam: The Vietnamese spirit of “Đói cho sạch, rách cho thơm” (Hungry but clean, ragged but fragrant) is an affirmation of self-worth, a commitment not to lose self-respect due to poverty. “Giấy rách phải giữ lấy lề” (Torn paper must keep its edge) is a similar reminder. Regarding the two types of people to avoid, the ancients concluded, “Thấy sang bắt quàng làm họ” (Seeing prosperity, one claims kinship), referring to those who only flatter the wealthy.

Internationally: Confucius taught, “The superior man thinks of virtue; the small man thinks of gain” (君子喻于義，小人喻于利). This teaching perfectly matches the article’s advice to stay away from petty individuals who only chase after profit without regard for principles or kindness.

Three Places Not to Go When You Have Money

The belief of “not going to three places when you have money” is very close to the Vietnamese ancestral ideas of “an bần lạc đạo” (being happy in poverty) and “self-preservation.” When people have money, they are easily prone to arrogance, debauchery, and losing their good nature.

1. Gambling Dens: Ancient Vietnamese considered gambling one of the worst vices, leading to the ruin of families. Proverbs like:
   • “Cờ bạc là bác thằng bần.” (Gambling is the master of poverty.)
   • “Cờ bạc sinh tật, bài bạc sinh thói.” (Gambling creates bad habits and vices.) These sayings show that gambling not only drains money but also corrupts one’s character, making people lazy and deceitful. Parents often warned their children to stay away from gambling because it’s the shortest path to ruin. In today’s world, gambling is not just about casinos but also online gambling, sports betting, or “gambling” forms of investment in the stock market. Thousands of families have been ruined by online betting sites, proving that this lesson remains highly relevant.
2. Places of Debauchery, Red-light Districts: Feudal Vietnamese society valued chastity and the four virtues (industriousness, appearance, speech, and conduct). Red-light districts and places of debauchery were considered immoral and corrupting. The Vietnamese believed that talented, ambitious individuals must preserve themselves and avoid material temptations to “not lose their will.” In his work The Tale of Kieu, Nguyen Du depicted the tragic fate of women in this profession, showing that it was a life of suffering and social disrespect. The ancients also had the saying: “Gần mực thì đen, gần đèn thì rạng” to advise people to choose a good environment for personal growth. Modern places of debauchery are no longer just red-light districts but “tea rooms,” “karaoke clubs,” or even “transactional relationships” (sugar daddy, sugar baby) and pornographic websites. These are direct causes of divorce, family breakdown, and complex social consequences.
3. A Widow’s House: This is advice steeped in the ancient wisdom of avoiding gossip and scandal. This belief is not a prejudice against widows but a warning about “gossip” and “suspicion” from others. A Vietnamese proverb says: “Gái goá không có chồng nhưng có tiếng” (A widow has no husband but has a reputation) and “Cái kim trong bọc lâu ngày cũng lòi ra” (A needle in a bag will eventually poke through), showing that improper actions, no matter how discreet, will be discovered and bring scandal. A Western quote also emphasizes the importance of preserving honor: “Your reputation is what people think of you. Your character is what you really are.” In this day and age, a widow’s house is no longer understood as it once was. “A widow’s house” is broadly interpreted as illicit relationships and marital infidelity. Social media and dating apps have been perverted, becoming the modern-day “widow’s house.” They make it easy for people to fall into secretive affairs and break up family happiness.

Analysis of “Don’t Get Close to Two People When You Don’t Have Money”

When one is down and out, it’s easy to see people’s true colors. This advice is a lesson on distinguishing between the petty and the virtuous in life.

1. People who “often bad-mouth others”: These are the petty people the ancients called “those who throw stones and hide their hands” or “those who take advantage of someone’s downfall.” The Vietnamese have the sayings: “Bắt cá hai tay” (To catch fish with two hands) and “Có phúc cùng hưởng, có hoạ tự chịu” (Share the fortune, bear the misfortune yourself), which criticize those who only want to benefit without taking responsibility. Confucius (from China) said: “The superior man makes friends with the superior man; the small man makes friends with the small man.” He meant that a virtuous person always helps others in distress, while a petty person will use the opportunity to harm others. In modern society, those who “slander others” are people who are jealous, bad-mouth, and belittle you when you fail. On social media, they are “anti-fans” or people who are ready to “throw stones” when you stumble, satisfying the mindset of “claiming kinship with the prosperous” and “kicking someone when they’re down.”
2. Ungrateful People Who Only Think of Their Own Interests: In Vietnamese culture, “nghĩa” (affection, loyalty) is highly valued, more so than “lợi” (gain). People who only care about self-interest and disregard loyalty are often considered petty and untrustworthy.
   • “Có tiền thì họ mừng, hết tiền thì họ bỏ.” (When you have money, they are happy; when you run out, they leave you.)
   • “Khi sa cơ mới biết bạn hiền.” (When you are down and out, you know who your true friends are.) These sayings express contempt for ungrateful people who only exploit others. Vietnamese ancestors always advised their descendants: “Học ăn, học nói, học gói, học mở” (Learn to eat, speak, wrap, and unwrap) to cultivate character, especially to “learn how to be a person.” In modern materialistic society, there are many people who are “unprincipled and ungrateful, only thinking of their own gain.” This situation is rampant in all fields, from business to personal relationships. These are people who only think in terms of “quid pro quo”; if you lose your usefulness to them, they immediately leave. This lesson reminds us to “thử vàng trong lửa, thử người lúc hoạn nạn” (test gold in fire, test a person in times of adversity) to recognize who our true soulmates are.

In conclusion, the advice in this article is a crystallization of the precious life experiences of our ancestors, not only for the Vietnamese but for all of humanity. It is a lesson about character, ethics, and the wisdom of interpersonal conduct. It emphasizes that preserving personal integrity is far more important than possessing wealth or fame. It teaches people not only how to make money but also how to save it and, most importantly, how to preserve their character. Living in a modern society full of temptations, cultivating ethics, maintaining self-respect, and wisely choosing friends are the keys to a peaceful and sustainable life.